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You may have notice I've changed the layout of the site. This is to reflect the inherent mood of the month of February.
I hate February. This God-Forsaken month is by far the longest of the 12. Why, you ask? For oh so many reasons.
1. My business comm professor informed me last week that it's pronounced Feb-ROO-ary. Not Feb-you-ary. Seriously? I've been pronouncing it wrong for over 22 years? How does that HAPPEN?
2. It annoys me to no end that February has the audacity to be the only perfectly symmetrical month. All the other months have at least 30 days, but nooooo, February has to be special. Short and sweet. You probably think this post is about you, don't you, February?
But no, that's not enough... Just when you think you have February figured out, it throws you a curve-ball. It's like an indecisive girlfriend.
I mean, seriously. Have you ever thought about leap year? It's one of those things that isn't weird until you really think about it, and then you realize its REALLY damn weird. Like crunchy peanut butter. Or ear wax.
3. I spend the whole month of February waiting for March, the second greatest month of the year (think: March Madness). And it's far enough away from October, the greatest month of year, that the effects of the last October have worn off and there's 8 months until the next one rolls around.
4. Apparently we've been in school long enough by February to have these pesky things called "exams." It's cramping my style. (And by "style" I mean time devoted to Campaigns).
5. How on earth did Groundhog Day end up being a big deal? The person who thought this up HAD to be the same guy that decided to bring a tree inside the house and throw some lights on it. Either that, or I imagine a Holiday Convention that took place, with a bunch of old guys in powdered wigs. They probably got high. I imagine the conversation went like this :
Leader: "February sucks. Why don't we start it off with a stupid Holiday. That should cheer everyone up."
High person with the munchies: "Groundhog."
High person staring out the window: "It's...so...snowy...outside...."
6. Valentine's Day. Everything is pink. Everything is covered with hearts. Everyone is advertising for you to buy pink things that are covered in hearts. You walk into Wal-Mart and your corneas are bombarded by so much pink that you have an instant headache. The whole Valentines industry is enough to make you want to vomit.
I swear, all those pink hearts are going to make me agoraphobic.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure the 'chocolate heart' thing got started so your girlfriend has something to give her single roommate to ease the pain.
We don't call it Single's Awareness Day (SAD) for nothing. No, I don't want to hear what you are planning with your significant other. And if you tell me, I'm going to tell you in graphic detail what I'm planning on doing with MY Valentine's Day. I'm going to watch zombie movies. People are going to get eaten and blood is going to be spewing everywhere.
LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD.
And when I'm the only one alive when the zombie apocalypse happens, you'll all know why.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
I hate February. This God-Forsaken month is by far the longest of the 12. Why, you ask? For oh so many reasons.
1. My business comm professor informed me last week that it's pronounced Feb-ROO-ary. Not Feb-you-ary. Seriously? I've been pronouncing it wrong for over 22 years? How does that HAPPEN?
2. It annoys me to no end that February has the audacity to be the only perfectly symmetrical month. All the other months have at least 30 days, but nooooo, February has to be special. Short and sweet. You probably think this post is about you, don't you, February?
But no, that's not enough... Just when you think you have February figured out, it throws you a curve-ball. It's like an indecisive girlfriend.
I mean, seriously. Have you ever thought about leap year? It's one of those things that isn't weird until you really think about it, and then you realize its REALLY damn weird. Like crunchy peanut butter. Or ear wax.
3. I spend the whole month of February waiting for March, the second greatest month of the year (think: March Madness). And it's far enough away from October, the greatest month of year, that the effects of the last October have worn off and there's 8 months until the next one rolls around.
4. Apparently we've been in school long enough by February to have these pesky things called "exams." It's cramping my style. (And by "style" I mean time devoted to Campaigns).
5. How on earth did Groundhog Day end up being a big deal? The person who thought this up HAD to be the same guy that decided to bring a tree inside the house and throw some lights on it. Either that, or I imagine a Holiday Convention that took place, with a bunch of old guys in powdered wigs. They probably got high. I imagine the conversation went like this :
Leader: "February sucks. Why don't we start it off with a stupid Holiday. That should cheer everyone up."
High person with the munchies: "Groundhog."
High person staring out the window: "It's...so...snowy...outside...."
6. Valentine's Day. Everything is pink. Everything is covered with hearts. Everyone is advertising for you to buy pink things that are covered in hearts. You walk into Wal-Mart and your corneas are bombarded by so much pink that you have an instant headache. The whole Valentines industry is enough to make you want to vomit.
I swear, all those pink hearts are going to make me agoraphobic.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure the 'chocolate heart' thing got started so your girlfriend has something to give her single roommate to ease the pain.
We don't call it Single's Awareness Day (SAD) for nothing. No, I don't want to hear what you are planning with your significant other. And if you tell me, I'm going to tell you in graphic detail what I'm planning on doing with MY Valentine's Day. I'm going to watch zombie movies. People are going to get eaten and blood is going to be spewing everywhere.
LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD.
And when I'm the only one alive when the zombie apocalypse happens, you'll all know why.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
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